[2008-12-10 23:08:12] * NekoYasha wonders why always the Anons doing the scanlations.
[2008-12-10 23:08:30] <Bakuryu> cuz its technically illegal
今天又是怎么回事，明明半夜12点有作业要交，可是整天空着。占课程10%的分数呐！也许和身体有关系，一天都没精神，晚上还在流鼻血……。
不交作业应该可以说是卡库尔的一个旧习惯了。这样的改不过来的坏习惯还是不少。奇怪的是和卡库尔心目中自己理想的形象相差甚远。理想中，卡库尔应该是勤劳、勇敢、机智、活泼的可爱少年。这好像说的有点太夸张……哈哈。不过实际的我呢？懒散，能拖则拖能逃则逃，做事没有主次，成天独自窝在家里不跟别人说话，喜爱偷懒，讨厌繁琐的问题，不甚整洁 (虽然最近有所改观)，晚睡晚起，以及一些我还是不想说的事情。另外接近19.5的年龄对可爱形象也一点没有贡献。
10% of the course score, and I skipped it… nosebleeds doesn’t help either.
Not handing in homework is an old habit of Kakur. There are much bad habits like this that went uncorrected. What is strange is that it is miles away from the ideal image in myself. Ideally, Kakur should be a diligent, courageous, clever and active cute boy. Sounds like a bit too exaggerated… haha. But in reality? Lazy, takes everything to the last minute and avoids if all possible, no priorities, staying at home for all day without talking with someone, procrastinates a lot, doesn’t like complex problems, has not much emphasis in cleanness, sleeps and wakes late and other things I’d rather not talk about. And the age that approaches 19.5 contributes absolutely nothing towards the cute image.
早晨起来之后，觉得有很重的负罪感。嗨咻，该来的总是要面对的。如果没有及格，那只能重修了吧。不过无论怎样，还要为接下来的考试和下学期的科目早些做准备啊。接续昨天，还是鼻涕不止。感冒了么……。
Feels particularly sinned after waking up. Haichu, what will come must be faced. If no pass, then the only recourse is to re-take the course. But in any case, I still need to prepare for the coming exams and courses in the next semester. Sneezing just like yesterday. Did I caught a cold…
前些日子浏览英文维基®百科® (顺便说一下，卡库尔强烈反对维基®在台湾注册为商标)，遇到一篇条目标题为“心理阴影”——心理阴影是荣格 (这是谁) 分析心理学中的，与人自我 (ego) 相对，人隐藏、憎恶的黑暗一面 (情结)。这黑暗并不是一定是邪恶的，而是与表人格相对的存在：好人的阴影是坏的，而坏人的阴影是好的。
Browsing the English Wikipedia® (by the way, I strongly object 维基 — a transliteration of wiki used in Wikimedia projects — to be registered as a trademark in Taiwan) and came across an article titled “psychological shadow” – a construct in Jungian psychology, which is an opposite of ego, the hidden, abominated dark side (complex). Such darkness does not need to be evil, but merely an existance contary to the surface persona : a good one’s shadow is bad while a bad one’s shadow is good.
懒散、脱逃、自闭，这就是……肮脏的……阴影的……我吗？
Is that… the polluted… the shadowed… me?
当然世界上没有完全的好人或是坏人，所以在阴影中，也能找到潜藏的闪光点。
Of course there’s no such thing on the world like a perfectly good or bad man, so you can also find hidden treasures in the shadow.
不过卡库尔总是分不清自我和人格面具 (persona)。Persona 是人对他人表现的性格。果然还是“独处的时候才能看出一个人的真正性格”么。戴上面具之后，就分不出自己是谁……无法了解自己。所以卡库尔没有兽设 (fursona，来自于 persona的英文一般含义，角色) 么？当然面具带久了，就会成为佩戴者真正的脸。我不希望自己对外的表现与实际相差太大，可以说面具是戴给自己看的；所以才会分不清楚吗？
But Kakur can’t tell apart ego and persona. Persona is what one displays to others. So “one’s true character shows when he’s alone” after all. Wearing the mask, one won’t be able to tell themselves apart… unable to know themselves. Is that why Kakur does not have a fursona (a word based on the common meaning of “role”)? Of course, when the mask has been worn too long, it becomes the wearer’s face. I don’t want my appearance to differ much from the “real me”, in a sense the mask is worn for myself; is that why I can’t understand?
要了解他人，先要了解自己。我问 Torley Wong, 如何了解自己？回答是，要询问自己问题，然后去世界中寻找答案。
To know others one must know thyself. I asked Torley Wong, how do you know yourself? The answer was, to ask yourself questions then embark on a quest for the answers in the world.
不过自我是随着时间推移而变化的。可是时间真的存在么？大部分物理的过程都是可逆的，除了熵，永远按照时间的增加而增加，像是时间的箭头。如果说大脑生成记忆的需要，也与熵相关，那么我们所说的未来，是否只是一种幻觉？我们究竟是否有自由意志？还是只像机器一样，一旦开动，宿命不可停止？或是像薛定谔的猫，每一个决定都是波形的崩溃，世界向双缝的左边或是右边发展……
But the self changes across time. But does time actually exist? Almost all physical progresses can be reversed, except for entropy, which always increases as the time increases, like an arrow of time. If the formation of memories in the brain, is also related to entrophy, does that mean the future we speak of, is only an illusion? Do we have free will? Or like machines, which after started, the destiny will never change? Or like Scherodinger’s cat, every decision is a collapse of the waveform, the word progresses towards the left silt or the right one…
……假如我的日志能看到未来……似乎除了陈词滥调，不会有什么内容吧。
… if my journal can see the future… it probably won’t have anything other than the party line.
扯远了。一家之言总是要就者一点盐服用的 (英文直译误)。相信自己是最重要的。扬帆起航向新世界出发。
That was too far away from the topic. It’s a single schools opinion, so it should be taken with a grain of salt. It’s most important to believe in oneself. Set sail to the new world.
如果说Anima是“心目中男性的形象”的话，那么+Anima 就是将心目中的形象投射出来？
荣格心理学另外有 Animus (女性形象), Puer Aeter (“永恒少年”), 以及 Senex (睿者)。那不是水火金雷中的少司命吗？
